![]() ![]() Grief is often a forgotten aspect of recovery. In examining your client’s history, gathering information on any substance use issues in the family may go a long way toward helping the client understand the evolution of his or her current emotional challenges. Groups such as Adult Children of Alcoholics evolved to support those whose lives have been upended by the addiction of someone else. Although his confession reaffirmed my client’s own memories, she was left grieving for the father she never had. He was now in recovery and trying to make amends. ![]() ![]() During our work together, her father contacted her to apologize for any harm he might have done, although he professed that his memories were cloudy because of his substance use. Perhaps the most difficult case I encountered was a young woman who was beginning to address childhood sexual abuse perpetrated by her father. Many college students begin to recognize some of the harmful effects created by the environments in which they lived. Given that college students are engaging in their own developmental issues around identity, they may be in a place to face these issues for the first time. In the extreme, counselors may connect with students whose sibling overdosed while they were away at college, adding to their guilt because of a false belief that they could have prevented the act. Substance use had taken away the parent they longed for.įor other students, siblings who were addicted created a range of issues, from trying to engage the student in substance use to wanting the student to “cover” for them. I (Susan) worked for many years in a college counseling center and encountered students struggling with losses related to family members who were addicted. You do not have to be an addictions counselor to encounter the grief related to substance use. Many other layers of grief would need to be uncovered and processed in the weeks and months ahead. What she didn’t realize was that she had just encountered the first glimpse of Andrew’s grief related to recovery. “I don’t know why they expect me to give up people, places and things associated with my drinking,” Andrew lamented.Īndrew’s mother wanted to scream that this was such a small price to pay for Andrew to regain his life before it was too late. He had believed that treatment would help him “dry out” and then return to his previous life. Thankfully, his company supported his entry into treatment, a move that encouraged his mother.ĭuring one of the family visiting days, Andrew’s mother was thoroughly confused by his anger over giving up his substance. When combined with his socially sanctioned business drinking, Andrew’s performance soon suffered.Īndrew managed to cover up the cracks in his professional veneer for several years before finally passing out one evening from a combination of exhaustion and alcohol. What she didn’t realize was that he would begin using stimulants to keep up the hectic pace. Andrew’s mom thought these responsibilities would help him settle down. He still managed to get a decent job that involved a lot of travel and client dinners. He had been an excellent college student until his hard partying began to take over his nights, leading to missed classes and incomplete assignments. Andrew’s mother was so happy that he had finally agreed to enter treatment for his drinking problem. ![]()
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